her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
