Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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