he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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