I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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