We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
