I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
