Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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