Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i think my cat just said my name.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
