His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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