I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
