Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
