quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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