It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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