PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
