Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
