Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
