i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
