CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
