my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
