btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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