Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
