Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
