All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
