the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
