I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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