I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
