Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
