Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
