I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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