should my penis look like a turkey
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
