How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
