the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
