wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
