It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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