Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
