Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
