Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
