im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
