I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my being single is dangerous.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize