they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
