For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
