How'd it feel making her break her religion?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I AM VODKA MAN
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
