Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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