i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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