i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
