You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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