i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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