READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
