I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
