I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
