Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
