i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
