He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
