Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I puked a lego.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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