I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
