South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
