Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
