so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it's great music for shaving your balls
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
